Tuesday, May 13, 2014

When people thought I went missing....

Fearing my dreams I ran away from my sleep, my pinching heart threw my pain in tears. I needed to bounce back. I have to bring order to chaos somehow, bring sanity back to my life.

Cananoor,  SeaShell beach resort. Three days to ease my trauma.
Through tears of ocean, Smile begins to shine on my face. 
Will you bring me back?
Will you,When I am on the verge of leaving this world? I asked.
 I was grieving, like the song of a shedding flower.  The sea gracefully took it all out of me.  Burning, shining rough waves pulling you closer with its wide open arms.
I found my happiness back, which I had sold.

As the rain drops fell on my face, the chit-a-pata on the roof, as everything turned green,  heavens cried along with me and tears brought joy. I wanted to LIVE. I discovered a new ME, my soul came alive, when I danced in rain to the music of the gushing sea.  Like the forgone waves, my pain was gone!

I sat by the balcony viewing the huge, gigantic, never ending sea, warming my hands with a tea cup, one by one the drops glided down the roof,  the ocean calls out  in soft whispers, a sound no one can hear, a promise to take out all my pain and a promise of peace.

I wake up everyday, in the most pleasant way, drowning in love, and find a door which opens up to the wonders of nature.  Chirping birds, land through the tides, ocean and serene sand and escape into the clouds to the land of dreams.

Another beautiful sun-set was waiting for me.  As the light from above faded slowly, I left behind the life I once knew. The vibrant colors of THE beautiful ever sun-set I ever saw faded and the night grew darker, I was lost at sea in a cold and lonely dark...To accept, to welcome To embrace the peace.
But I can still make out his dark manly tides in the pale moonlight.



I was alive.

To my guardian angel,
In those tides, scented breeze,  in the distant stars, YOU ARE. You are in my warm smile, in the child in my tears, in those dark fearful moments of night, the birds that fly. You are closest to me now.  Brimming with care you always hold my hand.  You prepare me to fly and cherish seeing me fly.  Before you entered my life, it was UNKNOWN, did I tell you, now that you are with me, the walk is so easy.

When I thought I had lost,
He was taking it away for me to move on.
When I thought I had given up,
He came in and told me to grow strong not old.
Had I won a thing not to be mine?
I could never lose what I never had.
I could find it now, I told myself.

--- come live with me, I will open my wings and catch the stars.