You're usually happy...

"You're usually happy." I immediately laughed. loud.

It takes a lot to show what you are not to people around you. Trust me!

I have a huge social network - am lucky that way. Different variety of friend circles. I have friends aged from 15-60, includes deaf n dumb, old people, blind, auto drivers, college friends, school friends, colleagues and so on.  Usually there is this question which haunts me "Are you happy?!" - may be not.

When I tried to make a "happy list" - things which make me happy, generally, to my surprise, I could get only a couple of them. I would then ponder "I thought I drew happiness from tiny small small things in life.Then why this?!". But I actually do. "Slow down and cherish the small things", I always tell myself. But may be deep down I am still loathing my existence for various reasons.

I will change it. As Sanjay says, I should learn to love myself, I should learn to love my imperfections. I will.
This new year I will change the way I live. I must learn to overcome fear, evolve and learn to embrace life. As my tattoo says "Fate loves fearless!".  I must take a fresh look at my life. I will challenge myself to make my life a MASTERPIECE! As for me the most easiest thing to do is to be YOU. 

If tomorrow Sanjay asked me the same Q again " If you die tomorrow what are the five things you will repent?", I must proudly say none :)

Yeah - Beautiful people do not just happen :) 

PS : I will try and do one thing which scares me everyday :P

Chi Sou Santa!

A smile perhaps is the best thing that happens to an individual when she is down, acts as an antidote to many of the distressing moments."Distressing".

This is gonna be quick, cause I don't wanna miss expressing all the excitement, joy, happiness and thrill I experienced this Christmas.

At office #vacation time#- All I do is shuffle my notes, chuckle , squeak my chair, play with my hair or sometimes even I could yawn n burp as well.

But this day 20th December 2012 was different. All because of this gorgeous , ever smiling amazing friend of mine - Sowbhagya. This is dedicated to you darling :)

I was dressed-up in red m white. People said I looked like a teenager :P Aaaw Blush!!
I finished my Santa job, kept my gift at Pavan's desk. Did you ask me what was the gift? Getting him a gift wasn't difficult at all.

I came back to my desk to find a cute gift, gracefully wrapped in a red glitter paper. I knew, it has to be a girl. It was neatly done. Come on guys, nothing to offend you. It is the fact.
I leaped a jump looking at the present. It had a Lindt chocolate. I don't need a better reason to flaunt my smile. Trust me, it doesn't come easy :P

As we discussed about the presents with everybody else, I was fishing for clues as to find out who my secret santa was. As we come back from lunch, I see a lot many gifts wrapped the same way and not to forget a note which read "Quality gifts from your secret admirer!". They had cute purple accessories. I was joyous like that purple bunny :) All of a sudden the world seemed purple to me :) And as my detective senses were put to work, I realized it was packed the similar way. It has to be my Santa.

After the Christmas celebrations at my office , I come back to my desk , finally to work. I find a kit-kat :) Wrapped in a yellow ribbon :) I was dying to know my Santa by then, I will tell you.

The joy and the mood did not end till the next day :) I took my colleagues to La-terrazza :) One of my favorite places to eat the next day. I come back to my seat to find a letter in kannada - sounded like a love letter- with a cute message , with a whole bunch of gifts :) It had a cuuute Santa teddy, biscuits, kukure, chocolates :) I was emotional.

Life is about who you love and who you hurt. I am surrounded by a lot of people who shower unconditional love. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion. It's about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love.It's about what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it's about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise.

My dear friend - Sowbhagya - wrapped parts/pieces of my life beautifully and presented graciously to me :)  Thank you dear :) I will remember this Christmas for all the Christmases to come :)
I did get my Christmas present dear :) A good friend for a life time :)

  

The day.....

It is THAT time of the year when you sob over unsettled resolutions( like how I tell myself I should stop all the pigging out sessions,how I should eat more veggies, how I should be more polite to others and always say -thank you-, how I should always be confident in what I do, when you light up that 1 extra candle on your cake and half hoping that with each moment that may come your way, you will gain  more wisdom, not wrinkles.
It is THAT time for me now, to say goodbye to that old Me, and welcome the new me. No kidding!

Now that I have fully recovered from what turned out to be a fabulous birthday ever, I decided to take a moment to express my little tribute to all the lovely wonderful people who made me feel so special.

It's gonna be a long one but I promise it's well worth it.

I have always been someone who feels like celebrating my birthday well. There are obvious reasons behind it, the reasons are carved deep down inside me. Since childhood, my birthdays have always been exciting. Mainly because you get to wear new clothes and look special among the rest of your friends with their boring uniforms. :) 

December 2nd , Kushi Utsav, Sunday:

Kushi Utsav , annual day celebrations of mentally challenged kids. I put on my new white top, which I forgot to mention was my first birthday gift from my dear friend, Rajeev. Thanks a ton Rajeev. Continue to be the wonderful person you have always been.

 I took my sister and brother along for a change. Had to reach the place a bit early, to help my friends decorate the stage. While doing so, as I watched the lovely kids walk slowly, holding their care-takers hands gently, as I watched them deck-up, as I watched them doing things which people thought they were unable to, I surrendered myself. I bowed down before them for all the struggle and all the pain they are going through. As they still smiled to glory, I had forgotten that there is something else about the sky that I had meant to check out, so I looked to that. The gamut of emotions over the years which their parents go through, phew... take a bow. Hats off!!

It was the singing and dancing that kept me watching. I could also see the crowd was equally impressed by their energy, which I could read from their dampened eyes.

Sister and brother wanted to leave early so I went to bid good-bye to my friends. They stormed towards me, held ma arm and told don't go the event will be over in a while. In this gap, they have communicated the same to my sister and brother. They stopped talking about going home. I continued tapping my toes watching the kids dance. After the event was over, all the volunteers including HI friends, my brother danced,
Dance - It's the rhythm of life. It's the expression in time and movement, in happiness, joy, sadness and envy. 

As I turned to move towards the exit, a screaam---- "Happy birthdayyy Poornimaaaa!!!". I turned back to see all those lovely people of my life, trying to catch a BIG, BROAD SMILE - a beam!!!  I stormed towards the stage where the pastry was kept. Slowly they slid the COLLAGE and the small slam-book - my birthday present. They had lovely pictures which were carefully selected and were perfectly placed. They say HAPPINESS lies for those who CRY. I guess I took this quote quite too seriously. Poornima cried. I was so unbelievably happy.


I cry, or at least my eyes fill with tears at the surge of just about any minute emotion. Like for example, I cry of happiness over delicious food :P 

It was time for cake cutting. OKAY, before we continue ,let me have one HUGE slice of my birthday cake.
TOAST PEOPLE!!!!  Yum yum yum.

I cut the cake amidst so many lovely people before me, talking to a special wonderful friend Pavitra over phone :) Miss you sweetheart :)

 Here's the collage - a joy so thrilling. 

Once again, I had to tell good-bye. Slowly my darling friend Prarthana handed over the present and whispered open it on december 5th which was my actual birthday. Prarthanaa, I did open it on december 5th.

I would like to thank all my friends here, Prarthana, Roopa, Emal, Bhavna, Anamika, Ramya, Pavitra Puttur, Pavitra Shivanna, Geeta mam, Mamatha, Amitesh, Sayeesha, Rajib, Sankar, Sudhir, Raghavendra, and Ravi Valdiya. I loved it guys :)  You guys are all just TERRIFIC!

Back home, I slept looking at my collage. (Usually I sleep looking at the radium stars - Sudhir? remember?). I woke up looking at it. I dint wanted to waste the little time while brushing teeth, yeah, I was looking at it then as well. :P

5th December - the day!
Let's face it. There are some things that we hold to be true within the natural community that are just kind of bunk. Not sure what I am talking ...

Exactly at 12:00, started getting calls on my phone. I missed the initial couple of calls intentionally cause I wanted someone to wish me first. duuuuuh!! :P

Got a lovely messages from Prarthana, Pavan, Sachin Shet, Anil Kumar, Vipin, Roopa, Giri, Ajith, Emal, Anamika, Sanjay, Pavitra. 

Slept at 2:30 with a lot of content :) I was happy.

Wore my new blue color salwar :) That was my lovely sister's present for my birthday. She is my mirror, shining back at me with a world of possibilities. She is my witness, who sees me at my worst and best, and loves me anyway. She is someone who knows when I am smiling, even in the dark. Love you :) Thank you :)

My loving mother had forgotten my birthday. How could she remember amidst all the things she does to keep us happy. For the pain I give, for all the naughtiness I've made craziness you've received, You're always there to forgive, You are so loving :) Mother, I love you :)

Cut the cake at home, took blessings from brother-in-law and sister. Headed to office.
At office, all my colleagues wished me, even the security guard, the rest room care-taker, and the parking guard. Went out for lunch - Thulp and cut the cake at office. Thankyou Pavan, Sowbhagya, Rita, Tejas, Panda, Guruji, Umesha, Shashi, Vivek, Uday, Suganya, Binoj for the wishes. Thanks Anupam for finishing the sweets without wishing me :):P

A colleague comes up to me and says - " You celebrate everybody's birthday at work, take this 500 rupees. Get a pastry of your choice and we will cut it.!" Thanks GuruPrasad.
No, I dint ask them to, REALLY!

Got a unnamed present , like earlier white shirt, from MYNTRA. I found out who sent it. I am SMART. Thanks Giri for it :) Loved it :)

Got flowers - pink ones, and a chocolate box from this sweet friend of mine :) Thanks Errol for the lovely message and flowers. Felt very special :) 
Got lovely wishes from people who called me through-out the day.
Thankyou Michele, Sweta, Raghavendra, Sudhir, Dodma, Antony sir - my driving school instructor, Sushma, Aunty, Amit and many more.

And not to forget the lovely posters from Krishna Boorugu :) Thanks a lot Krishna.

 
One of my best friends - Ajith Kumar - told me he has sent a gift through one of his friends. He says - "Please go and collect it, he is very busy". I fled from office thinking I will collect and come back to work since the place was very close by. As I waited at the destined place, tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! for my surprise, my friend, Ajith, was there. It was so sweet of him to come down to Bangalore all the way from Chennai. He gave me a beautiful jacket, swiss chocolates, bracelet and a cute kiwi key bunch. Its his very presence which was special. Thanks pa :)

My little brother, Prabhu raju, called me in the evening. I said "Dont talk to me!". He said " Akka, I had internals, so couldn't call morning". My loving little brother, he is the apple of my eye and I hate him!!! :)

Came back to office and left home.
My darling Pavitra - she stole my little little heart :) Called me held a conference, Jatin and her Mom. Very sweet lady. She made my day with their wishes. How can I forget Shannu and his wishes.

As I reached home, it was my darling dad who presented me with a leather wallet and silver ear-rings. Its the warm hug and love you which means everything to me. Love you dad :)
Some spaces were still empty. A call and endless talking could partially fill the spaces. 

A sweet gesture - from a very special friend to end the day with - I wished the world ended then. :)

It was important for me to express myself and it was of equal importance to know that you all were listening.
This blog saved me in so many ways.

I am blessed to have you all in my life :) Thanks for being there :) And thanks for everything.

Volunteer reflections...

Why you started volunteering?

The reason why I started volunteering -- that is an easy one! I do not have fancy stories behind this question. Very honestly, the reason why I started volunteering was because I had too much time on my hands. I was used to working in IT and badly needed something to rejuvenate myself end of the week. So I started volunteering around 4 years back. Krishna Thadepalli, a volunteer, then was my colleague as well. Our tea breaks used to a platform for discussions on sensitive n serious issues. That is when I learned about his volunteering. I wanted to get involved. So the first event I attended was at OmAshram, Independence day celebration. The most worth and memorable Independence day celebrated ever. Then I decided to learn more about volunteer opportunities and find out how I can get involved. So here I stand, with around 4 years of volunteering experience, still hungry for opportunities to help.

What have you done so far as I a volunteer (all the activities you were part of)?

Now, this is a tough one!  As mentioned earlier, I started with OMASHRAM. Then I realized what I am supposed to do. After that I attended a lot of events trying to find happiness in others smiles. Have been part of many events with SURABHI foundation. It feels good when kids storm towards you - "ayee! Poornima akka Poornima akka!". I visit regularly to DESIRE SOCIETY. Since its just behind the place I live. I was thrilled when a four year old here came up to me and asked, "Akka- will you marry me?". One notorious lad he is!  I remember celebrating holi with blind people. I still remember the expression on this old blind man when he held his favorite color blue in his hands. Priceless! Visit to VISHRANTHI gives me a lot of peace. JEEVARATHNI a home for kids, is where I remember most of my childhood. Kavya and her giggle here gives me energy. I also arranged an event for Christmas last year at my work place. Gave away goodies for orphan kids. Its gonna become a never ending story, so I will better stop here :)  From all this people I have met and been with I have learned one very basic and important truth in life. Somewhere deep inside a lot of issues are jumbled up, the fear, agony, love, hate, lust, greed and many more words as reasons. Amidst all this we have forgotten to look for joys of being alive and being blessed every day. We have to start relishing and enjoying the little little happiness around us that daily come by our way. The first sun shine, the smile of kids, the chirping birds, or just helping someone, even the breakfast and lunch. All this means everything for a lot of people in this world.

What motivates you to continue volunteering?

Volunteering not only gives me the opportunity to give back, it gives me something to do. I'll still have plenty of time for exploring local ruins or minds of aged. It helps me see the world with a purpose.
But one word of warning, don't set out to change the world -- you'll be disappointed to learn that the world doesn't necessarily need changing. The best goal is to challenge yourself everyday, test your patience, and open your mind and heart. Be of some sort of help to the aged who are badly in need of a helping hand.

I learned so much about myself while volunteering. I did things that I never imagined I was capable of. The biggest difference I noticed at the end of the day was not external but was the difference inside of myself. Most importantly, I will be changed forever because I will have greater understanding of what is life.
Unlike paid employment, volunteering provides a more flexible schedule and varying time commitments. You may choose to participate in a work camp which is the best part of iVolunteering.
I have met lots of new people through volunteering and it has helped me build up my confidence. I would recommend volunteering iVolunteer to any prospective volunteers.Volunteering makes you feel appreciated and needed.
Volunteering gives me a feeling of responsibility and positive self-esteem. Through volunteering I have acquired personal fulfillment by serving others, confidence, work experience and, moreover, I have experienced a real sense of team spirit.
Whenever I go, I am met with smiles, everyone is very happy to see us. Every time I come it is memorable, we all have a laugh and a joke. I feel happy that I am helping people to do something that they want to do. The other volunteers I work with are a great support.
It has taught me that everyone should be treated on an equal basis.

Disability is in people who treat them so.
I cannot forget to thank my parents for the love and life they have given me.
Love you mom.
Love you dad.

faint n ink!

I'm so excited to get back in the swing of things. There is a face really turning me around. I mean a face with the body as well of-course. I have started to tell myself " Stay happy! This is the best thing you can do to yourself"

My long pending fantasy or rather one of the long pending fantasies was to get a tattoo.I had admired tattoos since I was a lad and flaunted the temporary ones we used to get free with a Candy (boomer).

My friends use to react as if there was a cockroach running down their pants when I said I want to get a tattoo done!" Tattooooo!!" with their mouth wide open. Yeah I love my friends for that.

Like a moon among stars, the face I was talking before , motivated me to get it done. I made the decision. This blog is dedicated to you, again! :P

The first visit was disastrous.
The place looked strange. The interiors were designed nicely , the place ended as I entered. I could spot stairs leading to a dark place from where I could hear Eminem's music soft and mild. My rational mind knows that racing up the stairs of this place would be nothing but a world of hurt. But for some reason, the idea really attracted me. Sigh! I climbed up. There were a couple of faces resembling human beings.

A skinny guy - as if he followed Mediterranean diet ( apparently I was insanely jealous of him ),Krishna is what their parents named him welcomed me with a broad smile. I thought getting a tattoo was as simple as buying a candy of your choice and flaunt the next minute. Clearly it wasn't.

"What tattoo you want?" came the question. Oh yeah I know I should have prepared for it! The question rebounded a couple of times.

Mission to pick my brain to gather some ideas, completed.

I love to watch birds fly freely in the blue sky, adorned with two perfect wings and with glossy, colorful, marvelous feathers.Remember reading this somewhere "The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings.". So true!
Gives me happiness, brings a grin on my face. I celebrate the bird, its freedom, the energy of its wings in motion. I feel terribly sad to see them trapped in a cage, unable to fly.
I am generally scared of a lot of things in life. So here's what I wanted.

A cage and birds flying out of it with a caption "Fate loves fearless!". Got that visual yet? Good.
Krishna listened to my plans as he worked.

July 26th 2012 , 6:14 PM. 
Krishna was ready with the design. He exactly had what I wanted and a lot of appreciation for the idea of mine :)
I was asked to eat something before inking the tattoo.

Pavitra, one of my close friends ( Apparently, she got married. Miss you darling ) stays near this place "Krayonz". Called her up for dinner and shared why I was there. Come on I was not paranoid. It was just that she stayed close-by.

7:15 PM.
The blue-print was imprinted on my left leg. Why Leg?! Very rarely seen so! :P Also as I told earlier, because I have a few separate circles of friends. Also somewhere I felt "do I run into negativity having a visible tattoo?"

I was made to lie on a bed. I had changed my decision a couple of times by then.
The music.
The noise of the machine.
The place.
The artist.
Yes! I was paranoid. I hate pain.

Having made my decision, it was time for action.

Getting inked on your calf muscle doesn't hurt a lot. Of course, there will be some amount of pain, but it doesn't hurt as much. It actually did not hurt much. But I dunno why, I fainted. I was blank!

Krishna offered me a dairy milk and some water to drink. Pavitra was very helpful.

8:20 PM
My tattoo artist was amazing!  He was so patient with me and did beautiful work.The tattoo was ready. I was glad. I completely broke down and cried like a baby- definitely wasn’t expecting that! It wasn't because of the pain, definitely.

So… today was an emotional roller coaster, yet one of the best days I’ve ever had!
My tattoo has taught me more about myself, than I would have ever imagined. And like anything, there are two sides of the coin. Just be sure you examine both sides before you really make the commitment! Good luck!
An important point - Your tattoo should be meaningful.

First thing "HE" told me was....

Weekends are the best. Aren't they? I feel I am slowly dying inside without blogging- Not literally.

I give back to society whenever I find some free time. Beneficiaries include elderly, disabled, physically challenged, mentally challenged, HIV affected, blind kids and so on. Because I feel disability is not in them its in people who treat them so. 

Lets not discuss sensitive serious issues. There was this one time we had been to a home for HIV kids for an event.Lovely kids I must say. So, I actually do things other than get dressed and take pictures of my own :-)

There were around 20-25 volunteers for the event including me, but one face caught me, an exceptionally handsome smiling face that gained notoriety after being with kids. His sparkling eyes, his broad shoulders and his cute smile.  I don't call it "love at first-sight" and all, its just the feeling of braveness to stare at him and the tremble your heart feels when you wish to speak to him. Its different. He was a charm.  His vision to support the cause multiplied his charm.

Honestly, it took me two years to get the courage to speak to the guy I fell in love with, the first day I met him. He was my class-mate, in my fourth class if I remember correctly. I looked at him and said "Bye!! :-)" Period. He vanished after that...boooom!

Even now, when I am on the other side of 20, things are the same. The same. I hated my uncle  when he repeated statements like that.

So, we were playing cricket, kids love this game I will tell you. He was the batsman then and I was right behind him.
All I did was nothing but just adore him and his charm. I watched him play with the kids. Just watched.
It made me feel better. It made be not so depressed anymore.I was happy all of a sudden.

He turned towards me and walked closer, and closer. He looked up with those lovely attractive pair of eyes and bent over- yeah he is tall. I giggled. He pushed his fist towards me and pressed it against my palm , we stared into each others' eyes for sometime and he whispered " I love you!". I declared a momentary suspension of senses upon myself.

When I recovered, I found myself standing with a chocolate wrapper in my hands. Yes he loved me for trashing the wrapper for him, he loved me for making him skip those extra steps to reach the trash-bin.

super sad smiley :-(

I was two steps away from heaven. I came crashing down when I realized .I had high-hopes :-P

That's what he is. Carries this don't care attitude always and does exactly what he wants to do. Spreads love everywhere he reaches. Lets call him Achilles , the most handsome of the heroes assembled against Troy but now its against my world.


Eventually we became good-great friends.After-all friendship is above all bonding. He said he liked me the way I am. Yes he did. Actually. He advised me for my good always. Told me how things can be made better. He was one among them who genuinely cared for me. Even now I feel like a little girl when he puts his arms around me.




As the curtain falls, I would like to leave a small message to all my dear friends,
"I have something I have been meaning to tell you all.
 Do not forget my birthday and most importantly the gift. Do not!"

Unsung story of my hair...

" Wild! Wacky! And all curled up "- This is what my hair thinks about her- may be it would be a bad idea to call it him!

It was born the same day I was- obviously, I am so dumb? She always curled up and refused to grow tall. She hated when my friends pulled the curls down and yapped "Hey!! Look! Look!".

She always looked at healthy straight, long hair and felt inferior. She looked more like a Mal-nutritioned tiny rat's tail before an healthy horse's tail . Bad comparison! I know. Anyways, she became furious when she was called noodles. "How can people use me as dart?!", she weeped inside. She use to get tangled and stay inside- in the dark.

She waited waited waited, ask me for what, for people to like her and love her, to pamper her, to brush her softly and nicely. She was never loved! 

Yeah I hated my hair...It was a mess! I was a harum-scarum, reckless lad. Combing my hair was a never-ending story. I remember my gramma's words "Come here!! Let me put some fire into your hair!"- she meant apply oil... ay dios mio! A colleague of mine was deriving ways to generate spring energy using my hair. Very funny!

It was well nourished and well groomed until lately before the disastrous day- 17th of August 2011. I feel really sad for my hair. Yeah, I straightened it up!

Check out  my butter-fly clip :)

Every single strand of my hair rejoiced and rejuvenated seeing herself long and manageable.She enjoyed being between the hot hair presser like a child enjoying sliding a slide. After decades of violent struggle she was happy.She enjoyed the relaxing massage. She was fresh like a million bucks.

It cost me somewhere close to it! okie may be she was fresh like a daisy. Its been a fantastic experience..cause my mornings turned out to be more pleasing. You wouldn't have to search for your face in the messed-up hair anymore, once you wake up. Change is good, and if it comes with so many advantages- may be I can now forget about the money spilled.

"All good things come to an end", and for some people like me it comes to an end earlier than others. It came to an end. My hair now again is " Wild! Wacky! And all curled up! again " with an added malnutrition. But things have changed. I am sad and sorry for treating my hair bad, after-all its my hair, I should care for her. It has taught me when we care for one another we can achieve great things. So, now my hair gets all the attention and care.

I feel from this blog I have inspired you, my dear readers, to love your hair, even if it is as messy as mine. End of the day, its all up-to us to fill in the gaps.

Te emo - my hair ! muaaah!

puff puff puff!

Completely in a bloggy mood today. Even if am not, I will make it so now.

...a cross between full-witted fish and a pneumonia germ a gosh-awful pill with side whiskers is a friend of mine. I hate him. Totally. Surprised by the way I am starting? Read on..


He is a chain-smoker.
So how is this idea of telling you folks about an age old fantasy of mine and the way I fulfilled.Sounds good?
See, I just made it interactive and all for you.

If I remember correctly.. it must be June 2002 when I was just into my pre-university studies with few filthy weird fantasies blossoming...

One of them was to smoke!!!

It remained so, till I started to work. I had gathered enough courage now. Indeed it would get kind of serious at the end.

Wipro was my work-place then. Good food, good friends and good transport. About work? I don't remember doing any.
Amjad bhai! He was our bus- "1D"'s driver. I would prefer calling him a pilot. True. He was flying the bus.Literally. In truth, probably it was nothing compared to a set of drivers on road these days.

 Amjad was a nice chap. I was the first one to be picked , which used to be at 6:40 in the morning. It makes it practically impossible for me to get ready by then- though I would need just half of an hour to. Let us not get into details and all now. So, I was usually, not always, late. It used to just cost me a call and he , poor chap, used to wait for me. There were few mean people in the same bus. May be they would not really mean to be mean. They used to raise their voices and complain about the driver, that he is always late. Did I mention I was not always late?! But still there he was, Amjad bhai! Waiting for me the next day morning. Its incredible to know that talking to people affectionately can make such a big difference. I have attended his wedding - not gate-crashed and have conveyed my best wishes to the couple. And also had the delicious "chicken biryani" once, squatting down with his sister and their family. Feels good.

He used to smoke occasionally when nobody else is in the bus except me. He would take permission before doing so.
"Madam!! Cigaratte ?!!"
Once while doing so, he casually asked me, "Madam!? Aaap bhi kijiye!" giggle .
I replied him "thik hey bhai!" - alright.
He was utterly surprised and shocked to the bones. Then I explained,
"Bhai, Kabhi nahin kiya.. aaj try karungi. Sikhaayenge kyan?!" (Good heavens! He understood my hindi which meant - haven't done anytime before but would like to try now. Will you teach me?!)

He just responded with a stare back. He quickly tucked 5 rupees in his assistance's hands and asked him "Ek Kings leke aao!"
The boy flashed on and off in a minute with a cigarette in his hands. Booy! he was fast.
The moment was there.
I held the cigarette between my lips, wrong direction, for the first time. Amjad bhai corrected it. It then refused to light. Then I was asked to inhale to light it. It was obvious, I did not know. Yeah, we learn from experiences.
The cigarette was lit and was ready to do its job. 
So, for the first time when I left the smoke in the air , was my latest 'proud moment'! I could get it right probably, the third time. I then stopped! Its not fun. Trust me.
I seriously wonder why would people smoke?! For what joy?! There is absolutely nothing, nothing in it. It damages their health. I thought all these while that people smoke because it tastes like chicken :D

Got off the bus and told Amjad bhai "Shhh! Its our little secret!". He told me " Papa will catch you have this mint!". I snubbed him.

So there was my darling dad waiting for me with music on and closed eyes. When I opened the door, he suddenly wakes up. I settle down inside the car and am busy looking for my cell-phone and dad goes "Which brand?!" and yeah I tell him "eh?? Kings!!Dad!". Hell No!

And then there was silence silence and silence. Boy! I don't like silence.

what happened to me after that?!
Obviously my dad would not have said - "very nice and well done -- cool".
It took nearly 2 months for my nails to grow back. Two months!

My encounter with a "BA,MSW,Mphil,LLB,PGDHRM,(Phd)

24th Jan 2010, "the" Sunday when I was all getting bored. Decided to get myself out somewhere and keep me busy.

Tadaaang!! and an idea traveled through my nerves and flashed . I ran down to my dad who was about to leave to the "Sai ashram" to participate in a medical camp organized in there. I told him "Dad gimmi fifteen mins I shall be right besides u in the car". As usual he was pleased to have me with him.

We set off in our own-not stolen, fiat UNO with no special facilities within it and yeah not to forget, the old radio which cost ma dad 300 bucks!

As the breeze kissed me and the music danced into ma ears , my nose could sniff the tire getting burnt. All thanks to the mechanic Shivu , and to the airport road , which made dad drive so fast resulting in the fuming tire.

Somehow managed to chill it down which took us ten to fifteen minutes and reached. We reached the destination way ahead of the actual expected time.

It was a medical camp. You find these grown-up infants - aged, with their pink colored medical cards loitering around for their turn for the free check-up. It gives me immense pleasure to be of some help to them. Hold them, guide them, share their meal and sometimes even rest under the tree and talk about their times.

I look at them and wonder, these were the lovely people who struggled so much for their families to bring-up their kids and may be even grand children. They would have skipped a meal to feed their kids and now- for what so reason ever, you find them alone and helpless. Its a cruel world out there. Meanwhile, a guy walks straight up to you and goes "Are you Munirajaiaj's - my dad! daughter?". He continues after my nod,I nod a lot!,
"You seem to be very active. Have you come here to help the old!?". Oh no I am here to sell tickets for a movie in black!! I told him "Yes!".
Then he goes....." He is something and he is doing something and he will do something. He is from this caste and he is in his 28th year". Trust me I was least interested. He continues " I am from a higher caste than yours but still I would like to know you more and if everything goes fine, I would talk to your father and discuss about our wedding!"

"WEDDING!!!" wait a minute don't I stand any chance to talk here?! Of-course I had better things to do. I looked as not interested as possible and finally he forced his visiting-card in ma hands and moved on.
It read--- Vijay Kumar - BA,MSW,Mphil,LLB,PGDHRM,(Phd) and yeah with all this he is still in his 28th year. I believed.

Ended the journey with a fruity bliss in cafe-day. I still wonder caste makes such a huge impact even these days! Why do men always sound as if they are throwing mercy at women by getting married to them? Why do they not consider womens' choices and treat them slaves? Won't they have their interests, their choices, their wishes and their life?!

Won't things change?! Ever..? Ever!!!!

those awkward moments....

Going to malls these days has become a very common thing . Its like getting to the milk booth to get a packet of milk.Some of us would straight-away walk into the rest-room- I bet they are meeting someone special or have had a bad meal. Some of us walk loiter, wander do time-pass. And most of us walk towards the elevators.We will have 3-4 elevators dancing up and down between the floors. Some of us would want to head down or up. Say you are waiting to go up. I personally always wait right in-front of the lift as I am scared of getting crushed by people rushing to get into the lift. A lift comes-- beeep-- and the guard screams "going dooown! going dowwn". I tell him okie I am blind and I cannot see the direction glowing down. I ignore. But there would be some set of people! born in 7 months types. They will feel bad the whole day if they wasted a minute waiting for the lift I guess. They would press the button before the lift heads down. And the door opens again on your face, with so many pairs eyes looking at you.You wouldn't want to read those reactions. Trust me. You badly wished you weren't there that moment. And that's what I call an awkward moment. So awkward, you cannot imagine.

Such moments happen constantly to all of us.

Dieting is a very constantly changing habit. You change it based on the circumstances and the food. I personally can cut my tongue for sweets. Yeah I am on diet. Firmly now! Not really... Sweets are very attached to me. They pull me towards them. You go home tired and mom says " Chikappa - uncle, had come. He got you some rasgullas. Its inside fridge!". You ignore her and say "Amma, I don't want sweets!". My mom faints! She is still recovering. So I hit the bed eventually. I turn left, I turn right, I turn around, I roll. I am not getting sleep. I dream about rasgullas. They are walking, talking and laughing. I couldn't control. "Chuck diet man!", I told myself. Time - 2:30 in the morning. You walk slowly towards the fridge. Stuff the delicious, chilled rasgullas into you mouth and exclaim, "Heaven!". I generally close my eyes if I am enjoying something. Bad minds! Its not what you are thinking. I open my eyes. "Mooom!You are up so early?". How would it feel when you are caught by your mom stealing rasgullas in the night which she had sweetly offered and I had rudely ignored. Awkward!

I like playing with kids. I feel kids should be let to play. They can become Einsteins and Bill Gates later in their life. I visit govt schools during my free time and help the kids play slide, see-saw, swing and etc etc. I enjoy sliding kids away in the slide and also myself :P That awkward moment when you get caught playing slide yourself.

Ooops!!!

That awkward moment ...
when you burn your brother-in-laws shirt while pressing,
when you break something in a gift shop and get caught,
when you drop the coke on the way to your table in a KFC,
when you are caught yawing while your friend is sharing her sad break-up news,
when you pinch a cute girl on road and she starts crying,
when you run to catch a bus and the bus leaves when you are almost there and continue to walk slowly till the next bus stop,
when you fight vigorously with your friend to pay the bill and realize you do not have cash,
when you reveal a secret to a friend of yours who had himsef/herself revealed it to you with a warning note "Promise me you won't tell anybody!!"
awkward awkward very awkward.

The father of all the awkward moments is when you are in a cousins wedding, having a blast! An old relative of yours- you wouldn't even remember seeing her. She walks up to you, grabs your chin, tickels your bone and goes "Next is you!! ha ha ha!" She and her cunning smile. Feels like holding her chin, tickling her bone and telling "Next is you!! ha ha ha!" in the next funeral I attend.

My Police Watch!

"The watch looks sexy but its little big on you".
"Chennagilla! (not good). Give it to brother"!- my sister. A stare back which read " We dint have a watch during our college days. And he needs a police watch?" My brother also read and understood my reaction.

These were the few initial responses I got for my new Police watch- which was a gift :)

I am a brand conscious person- till its worth and its affordable. That doesn't make me not a quality conscious and not a price conscious and not a practical person also. Talking about being practical reminds of an incident which I cannot resist sharing.

Kitchen to me is an un-fairy land. Never wish to end up there. There was this one time when my mom asked me "Shamu ( that's what she calls me. Not my mistake if I am dark ) ! We would need a frying pan for breakfast. ". I looked at her and casually replied " That is indigestible amma! ". She gave me a dirty look and asked me not to be an ass all the time. Come on that's not my problem people always urged me to think practical.

Okie we were talking about my POLICE watch. Its a beautiful digital watch, white-strap, and four cute little knobs around the case and importantly its a gift :)
Have a look!

That night I slept with this watch in ma hands. I was excited.
The next day I wore it. I made sure it was visible to everybody on road. I thought my friends would like it and I could proudly talk about it. I was right- in a way.  Correction would be, they did not like it. But we still talked about it. Ask me how?!



They asked me "why have you wrapped a wall-clock around your wrist.?" I ignored.
They said its a missile launcher, its a GPS device, its an helipad, it has an in-built fault detector, in-built lazer beam. I ignored.
One of my colleagues goes " Hey ( to a colleague of mine who sits opposite to me at my work place ) When you want to know the time, you can just relax, stretch and peep into Poornima's watch". I ignored.
One of my friends goes- " If her watch stops working, all the ships will sink , air-crafts crash and satellites stop working!". I believe all these are getting data from my watch. mammmaaaa :(
They could even find a pepper spray in-built in my watch. Heights!
One of my friends' uncles says - "You can keep all your make-up kit inside this watch!". Forget the watch, uncle! I don't deck up so much :( 

I was furious. I was angry. I was tired of being a jack-ass.
I decided I will do something about it.

Next day morning, I was off to my work. She looked at me palely with open arms she said "Pick me up!". There was a close-up shot and a cut!

I did do something about it. I continued to ignore. :)  And I continued to wear the watch!
And yeah my watch doesn't do all that. It shows time and date. It can also set an alarm.

aao sunau pyaar ki ek kahaani!

A little princess was on cloud nine when this handsome hunk walked into her life.
The princess was not like any other girl. She was unusual! She liked archery and war and dint like decking herself up and sit back home and lazy around...

She liked bike, oops , I meant horse riding,liked watching soccer with her friends and hated to even look at the kitchen.The princess never encouraged people in love, she felt its a mere waste of time until this happened to her one fine day. She missed him, she remembered him , she wondered about him , she dreamed about him and yeah she was in love! Wait a minute.. OH REALLY?!

She was extremely joyous in his company. She spent wonderful evenings with him, enjoyed riding behind him, loved his surprises.

It was not so difficult to find this pic.

He showed her the life. The wonders. The cruelty. The rudeness. The tenderness.

He made her strong.

All of a sudden, the world seemed so beautiful.

I get it. We need names right? Let them be called as "Kothi-mari" and "dumma". For all the non-kannada public, "Young-monkey"-the female lead and "Fat-a**"- the male. :) 

These translations can lead to dangerous consequences.Trust me. 

She did not express her feelings. She feared of losing him.
She was herself confused and not sure. But she admired him always.

Lets take a break here... am running out of words...this is DIFFICULT!

She rode horses with him, learned archery from him. Talked endlessly to him.
Meanwhile, it was the time for her to wear the crown. She was the Queen- her majesty. She was young but bold. Dumma felt she wasn't matured enough to take care of her people or to be Queen.

She weeped inside. She wasn't happy from what Dumma thought about her. She was sad.

Pheeeew!!!

She was determined to prove him wrong. She ignored everything dumma said. She said to herself "It's no big deal, I too can do that". She always did things against him. She went ahead, took extreme steps and failed utterly.
She needed extra assistance. She had forgotten her love. She realized.

Poor baby!!

She went back to him. "Why don't you stay with me always? Why don't you support me always?
I am not matured. I confess!" She sniffed.

And then she said "Why don't you marry me?!" and there was a long pause and then they kissed.  aaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!!!

This is it. They were married. And dumma did the taking care of the country part of the work and kothi-mari - taking care of her family. She did this job with extreme perfection and drew a lot appreciation.

Now she could proudly say "It's no big deal, I too can do that"

Yeah the most important line... And they lived happily ever-after :)

That weekend with Moon!!!

Lately, my life has been uninspiring me in everything I do. Stress levels have been insanely high. So the plan was made. Pondicherry here I come!

It was 7th of April 2012, to be more precise, it was 9:25 PM of this day. We were heading to Pondicherry, the "new village". The word "WE" is very personal and exciting to me, so will not disclose. The wait in the bus-stop continued till 11:20 and yeah I was happy for obvious reasons :) I told myself and my mom that I will be all fine and will not worry about anything. Rolled into the bus, sleeper one, and settled down on the window side. And here comes the best part. The Moon!! It wasn't full-moon but close to it. I always admired moon, considered it as one of ma pals. There he was smiling at me :) I always wanted to sleep under the moon. He traveled with me till Pondicherry.

A weird thing happened in Thiruvanamalai. 4 in the morning, some religious rituals and many many people scattered here and there as if an ant hill was disturbed. The bus speeded across them and in seconds, the people vanished.

Pondicherry, 6:15 AM, 8th April.
Mocachinno at le cafe , then a royal breakfast buffet ( and yeah my teeth was not brushed) at Promenade, a high-design hotel at the beach side, crazy bike ride, hunt for resorts, resort Dune, playing in beach, lime juice which cost 50 bucks, excitement seeing the 8k rented room, Cycle rides, Italian food, photography, again beach, again food, again photography. Wondering about life sitting on the beach side and watch it roar/respond to your feelings, the breeze.

Come-on people.. It is moon. Not an amateur photographer yet!

Above all it was the full-moon on this day standing right-up the ocean. I am so happy I get to walk through life with him. He makes life so sweet. I said "I Love you" to the moon. I sighed.  I adore it.

Beach, the moon and a great company.
Happy
Content
Perfectly placed
Just where I'm supposed to be.

Sometimes you have off days.

But. It leaves. Gives you a Good friend. Eventually. And I got one for a life time. :)