Monday, December 31, 2012

You're usually happy...

"You're usually happy." I immediately laughed. loud.


It takes a lot to show what you are not to people around you. Trust me!

I have a huge social network - am lucky that way. Different variety of friend circles. I have friends aged from 15-60, includes deaf n dumb, old people, blind, auto drivers, college friends, school friends, colleagues and so on.  Usually there is this question which haunts me "Are you happy?!" - may be not.

When I tried to make a "happy list" - things which make me happy, generally, to my surprise, I could get only a couple of them. I would then ponder "I thought I drew happiness from tiny small small things in life.Then why this?!". But I actually do. "Slow down and cherish the small things", I always tell myself. But may be deep down I am still loathing my existence for various reasons.

I will change it. As Sanjay says, I should learn to love myself, I should learn to love my imperfections. I will.
This new year I will change the way I live. I must learn to overcome fear, evolve and learn to embrace life. As my tattoo says "Fate loves fearless!".  I must take a fresh look at my life. I will challenge myself to make my life a MASTERPIECE! As for me the most easiest thing to do is to be YOU. 

If tomorrow Sanjay asked me the same Q again " If you die tomorrow what are the five things you will repent?", I must proudly say none :)

Yeah - Beautiful people do not just happen :) 

PS : I will try and do one thing which scares me everyday :P



Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Chi Sou Santa!

A smile perhaps is the best thing that happens to an individual when she is down, acts as an antidote to many of the distressing moments."Distressing".

This is gonna be quick, cause I don't wanna miss expressing all the excitement, joy, happiness and thrill I experienced this Christmas.

At office #vacation time#- All I do is shuffle my notes, chuckle , squeak my chair, play with my hair or sometimes even I could yawn n burp as well.

But this day 20th December 2012 was different. All because of this gorgeous , ever smiling amazing friend of mine - Sowbhagya. This is dedicated to you darling :)

I was dressed-up in red m white. People said I looked like a teenager :P Aaaw Blush!!
I finished my Santa job, kept my gift at Pavan's desk. Did you ask me what was the gift? Getting him a gift wasn't difficult at all.

I came back to my desk to find a cute gift, gracefully wrapped in a red glitter paper. I knew, it has to be a girl. It was neatly done. Come on guys, nothing to offend you. It is the fact.
I leaped a jump looking at the present. It had a Lindt chocolate. I don't need a better reason to flaunt my smile. Trust me, it doesn't come easy :P



As we discussed about the presents with everybody else, I was fishing for clues as to find out who my secret santa was. As we come back from lunch, I see a lot many gifts wrapped the same way and not to forget a note which read "Quality gifts from your secret admirer!". They had cute purple accessories. I was joyous like that purple bunny :) All of a sudden the world seemed purple to me :) And as my detective senses were put to work, I realized it was packed the similar way. It has to be my Santa.

After the Christmas celebrations at my office , I come back to my desk , finally to work. I find a kit-kat :) Wrapped in a yellow ribbon :) I was dying to know my Santa by then, I will tell you.

The joy and the mood did not end till the next day :) I took my colleagues to La-terrazza :) One of my favorite places to eat the next day. I come back to my seat to find a letter in kannada - sounded like a love letter- with a cute message , with a whole bunch of gifts :) It had a cuuute Santa teddy, biscuits, kukure, chocolates :) I was emotional.

Life is about who you love and who you hurt. I am surrounded by a lot of people who shower unconditional love. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion. It's about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love.It's about what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it's about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise.

My dear friend - Sowbhagya - wrapped parts/pieces of my life beautifully and presented graciously to me :)  Thank you dear :) I will remember this Christmas for all the Christmases to come :)
I did get my Christmas present dear :) A good friend for a life time :)

  


Thursday, December 6, 2012

The day.....

It is THAT time of the year when you sob over unsettled resolutions( like how I tell myself I should stop all the pigging out sessions,how I should eat more veggies, how I should be more polite to others and always say -thank you-, how I should always be confident in what I do, when you light up that 1 extra candle on your cake and half hoping that with each moment that may come your way, you will gain  more wisdom, not wrinkles.
It is THAT time for me now, to say goodbye to that old Me, and welcome the new me.
No kidding!

Now that I have fully recovered from what turned out to be a fabulous birthday ever, I decided to take a moment to express my little tribute to all the lovely wonderful people who made me feel so special.

It's gonna be a long one but I promise it's well worth it.

I have always been someone who feels like celebrating my birthday well. There are obvious reasons behind it, the reasons are carved deep down inside me. Since childhood, my birthdays have always been exciting. Mainly because you get to wear new clothes and look special among the rest of your friends with their boring uniforms. :) 

December 2nd , Kushi Utsav, Sunday:

Kushi Utsav , annual day celebrations of mentally challenged kids. I put on my new white top, which I forgot to mention was my first birthday gift from my dear friend, Rajeev. Thanks a ton Rajeev. Continue to be the wonderful person you have always been.

 I took my sister and brother along for a change. Had to reach the place a bit early, to help my friends decorate the stage. While doing so, as I watched the lovely kids walk slowly, holding their care-takers hands gently, as I watched them deck-up, as I watched them doing things which people thought they were unable to, I surrendered myself. I bowed down before them for all the struggle and all the pain they are going through. As they still smiled to glory, I had forgotten that there is something else about the sky that I had meant to check out, so I looked to that. The gamut of emotions over the years which their parents go through, phew... take a bow. Hats off!!

It was the singing and dancing that kept me watching. I could also see the crowd was equally impressed by their energy, which I could read from their dampened eyes.

Sister and brother wanted to leave early so I went to bid good-bye to my friends. They stormed towards me, held ma arm and told don't go the event will be over in a while. In this gap, they have communicated the same to my sister and brother. They stopped talking about going home. I continued tapping my toes watching the kids dance. After the event was over, all the volunteers including HI friends, my brother danced,
Dance - It's the rhythm of life. It's the expression in time and movement, in happiness, joy, sadness and envy. 

As I turned to move towards the exit, a screaam---- "Happy birthdayyy Poornimaaaa!!!". I turned back to see all those lovely people of my life, trying to catch a BIG, BROAD SMILE - a beam!!!  I stormed towards the stage where the pastry was kept. Slowly they slid the COLLAGE and the small slam-book - my birthday present. They had lovely pictures which were carefully selected and were perfectly placed. They say HAPPINESS lies for those who CRY. I guess I took this quote quite too seriously. Poornima cried. I was so unbelievably happy.


I cry, or at least my eyes fill with tears at the surge of just about any minute emotion. Like for example, I cry of happiness over delicious food :P 



It was time for cake cutting. OKAY, before we continue ,let me have one HUGE slice of my birthday cake.
TOAST PEOPLE!!!!  Yum yum yum.


I cut the cake amidst so many lovely people before me, talking to a special wonderful friend Pavitra over phone :) Miss you sweetheart :)




 Here's the collage - a joy so thrilling. 

Once again, I had to tell good-bye. Slowly my darling friend Prarthana handed over the present and whispered open it on december 5th which was my actual birthday. Prarthanaa, I did open it on december 5th.

I would like to thank all my friends here, Prarthana, Roopa, Emal, Bhavna, Anamika, Ramya, Pavitra Puttur, Pavitra Shivanna, Geeta mam, Mamatha, Amitesh, Sayeesha, Rajib, Sankar, Sudhir, Raghavendra, and Ravi Valdiya. I loved it guys :)  You guys are all just TERRIFIC!

Back home, I slept looking at my collage. (Usually I sleep looking at the radium stars - Sudhir? remember?). I woke up looking at it. I dint wanted to waste the little time while brushing teeth, yeah, I was looking at it then as well. :P

5th December - the day!
Let's face it. There are some things that we hold to be true within the natural community that are just kind of bunk. Not sure what I am talking ...

Exactly at 12:00, started getting calls on my phone. I missed the initial couple of calls intentionally cause I wanted someone to wish me first. duuuuuh!! :P

Got a lovely messages from Prarthana, Pavan, Sachin Shet, Anil Kumar, Vipin, Roopa, Giri, Ajith, Emal, Anamika, Sanjay, Pavitra. 

Slept at 2:30 with a lot of content :) I was happy.

Wore my new blue color salwar :) That was my lovely sister's present for my birthday. She is my mirror, shining back at me with a world of possibilities. She is my witness, who sees me at my worst and best, and loves me anyway. She is someone who knows when I am smiling, even in the dark. Love you :) Thank you :)

My loving mother had forgotten my birthday. How could she remember amidst all the things she does to keep us happy. For the pain I give, for all the naughtiness I've made craziness you've received, You're always there to forgive, You are so loving :) Mother, I love you :)

Cut the cake at home, took blessings from brother-in-law and sister. Headed to office.
At office, all my colleagues wished me, even the security guard, the rest room care-taker, and the parking guard. Went out for lunch - Thulp and cut the cake at office. Thankyou Pavan, Sowbhagya, Rita, Tejas, Panda, Guruji, Umesha, Shashi, Vivek, Uday, Suganya, Binoj for the wishes. Thanks Anupam for finishing the sweets without wishing me :):P

A colleague comes up to me and says - " You celebrate everybody's birthday at work, take this 500 rupees. Get a pastry of your choice and we will cut it.!" Thanks GuruPrasad.
No, I dint ask them to, REALLY!


Got a unnamed present , like earlier white shirt, from MYNTRA. I found out who sent it. I am SMART. Thanks Giri for it :) Loved it :)

Got flowers - pink ones, and a chocolate box from this sweet friend of mine :) Thanks Errol for the lovely message and flowers. Felt very special :) 
Got lovely wishes from people who called me through-out the day.
Thankyou Michele, Sweta, Raghavendra, Sudhir, Dodma, Antony sir - my driving school instructor, Sushma, Aunty, Amit and many more.

And not to forget the lovely posters from Krishna Boorugu :) Thanks a lot Krishna.
 
One of my best friends - Ajith Kumar - told me he has sent a gift through one of his friends. He says - "Please go and collect it, he is very busy". I fled from office thinking I will collect and come back to work since the place was very close by. As I waited at the destined place, tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! for my surprise, my friend, Ajith, was there. It was so sweet of him to come down to Bangalore all the way from Chennai. He gave me a beautiful jacket, swiss chocolates, bracelet and a cute kiwi key bunch. Its his very presence which was special. Thanks pa :)

My little brother, Prabhu raju, called me in the evening. I said "Dont talk to me!". He said " Akka, I had internals, so couldn't call morning". My loving little brother, he is the apple of my eye and I hate him!!! :)

Came back to office and left home.
My darling Pavitra - she stole my little little heart :) Called me held a conference, Jatin and her Mom. Very sweet lady. She made my day with their wishes. How can I forget Shannu and his wishes.

As I reached home, it was my darling dad who presented me with a leather wallet and silver ear-rings. Its the warm hug and love you which means everything to me. Love you dad :)
Some spaces were still empty. A call and endless talking could partially fill the spaces. 

A sweet gesture - from a very special friend to end the day with - I wished the world ended then. :)

It was important for me to express myself and it was of equal importance to know that you all were listening.
This blog saved me in so many ways.


I am blessed to have you all in my life :) Thanks for being there :) And thanks for everything.


Sunday, December 2, 2012

Volunteer reflections...

Why you started volunteering?

The reason why I started volunteering -- that is an easy one! I do not have fancy stories behind this question. Very honestly, the reason why I started volunteering was because I had too much time on my hands. I was used to working in IT and badly needed something to rejuvenate myself end of the week. So I started volunteering around 4 years back. Krishna Thadepalli, a volunteer, then was my colleague as well. Our tea breaks used to a platform for discussions on sensitive n serious issues. That is when I learned about his volunteering. I wanted to get involved. So the first event I attended was at OmAshram, Independence day celebration. The most worth and memorable Independence day celebrated ever. Then I decided to learn more about volunteer opportunities and find out how I can get involved. So here I stand, with around 4 years of volunteering experience, still hungry for opportunities to help.

What have you done so far as I a volunteer (all the activities you were part of)?

Now, this is a tough one!  As mentioned earlier, I started with OMASHRAM. Then I realized what I am supposed to do. After that I attended a lot of events trying to find happiness in others smiles. Have been part of many events with SURABHI foundation. It feels good when kids storm towards you - "ayee! Poornima akka Poornima akka!". I visit regularly to DESIRE SOCIETY. Since its just behind the place I live. I was thrilled when a four year old here came up to me and asked, "Akka- will you marry me?". One notorious lad he is!  I remember celebrating holi with blind people. I still remember the expression on this old blind man when he held his favorite color blue in his hands. Priceless! Visit to VISHRANTHI gives me a lot of peace. JEEVARATHNI a home for kids, is where I remember most of my childhood. Kavya and her giggle here gives me energy. I also arranged an event for Christmas last year at my work place. Gave away goodies for orphan kids. Its gonna become a never ending story, so I will better stop here :)  From all this people I have met and been with I have learned one very basic and important truth in life. Somewhere deep inside a lot of issues are jumbled up, the fear, agony, love, hate, lust, greed and many more words as reasons. Amidst all this we have forgotten to look for joys of being alive and being blessed every day. We have to start relishing and enjoying the little little happiness around us that daily come by our way. The first sun shine, the smile of kids, the chirping birds, or just helping someone, even the breakfast and lunch. All this means everything for a lot of people in this world.

What motivates you to continue volunteering?

Volunteering not only gives me the opportunity to give back, it gives me something to do. I'll still have plenty of time for exploring local ruins or minds of aged. It helps me see the world with a purpose.
But one word of warning, don't set out to change the world -- you'll be disappointed to learn that the world doesn't necessarily need changing. The best goal is to challenge yourself everyday, test your patience, and open your mind and heart. Be of some sort of help to the aged who are badly in need of a helping hand.

I learned so much about myself while volunteering. I did things that I never imagined I was capable of. The biggest difference I noticed at the end of the day was not external but was the difference inside of myself. Most importantly, I will be changed forever because I will have greater understanding of what is life.
Unlike paid employment, volunteering provides a more flexible schedule and varying time commitments. You may choose to participate in a work camp which is the best part of iVolunteering.
I have met lots of new people through volunteering and it has helped me build up my confidence. I would recommend volunteering iVolunteer to any prospective volunteers.Volunteering makes you feel appreciated and needed.
Volunteering gives me a feeling of responsibility and positive self-esteem. Through volunteering I have acquired personal fulfillment by serving others, confidence, work experience and, moreover, I have experienced a real sense of team spirit.
Whenever I go, I am met with smiles, everyone is very happy to see us. Every time I come it is memorable, we all have a laugh and a joke. I feel happy that I am helping people to do something that they want to do. The other volunteers I work with are a great support.
It has taught me that everyone should be treated on an equal basis.

Disability is in people who treat them so.
I cannot forget to thank my parents for the love and life they have given me.
Love you mom.
Love you dad.