My life has become... so... normal.
NORMAL!
That kept me ponder. Having a disability - special ability, is what I prefer calling it, can affect in many aspects of a person's life.
Waking up, taking bath, dressing up, at work place, boarding a public transport, buying things, at home, cooking, could be as simple as calling somebody. For all those, including me, who think their lives are just normal... Take a moment.
Imagine.
Think.
Its scary.
Personally if I were one, I would probably prefer sitting at home and have someone take care of me. :P
But this is not really the case. Lets find out from my experience with a special friend of mine.
Getting to know him...
Manii ( Name changed ) , a 26 year old lean, tall, malyali. I should improve on my skills to describe a person. He is deaf and dumb and I presume he can hear the loudest of noise, feebly. Going out with him was adventurous and as fresh as it is the first time. He is a great company and is passionate about so many things in life. High levels of patience he had. I used to ask him the sign for the same set of words every time I meet him. He always used to correct me with a grin and of-course a light, gentle pat on my head , showing affection.
With my experience spending time with him, a couple of things to keep in mind when you have such a friend.
1) Do not call them on their mobile.
The first time we decided to meet for lunch at McDs. I reached the place and totally forgot about his abilities. I called him over his phone to know where he was. He cut the call once. I called again. How Stupid! Don't do that.
2) Do not say the place is noicy.
We were in Barista. The table next to us, were not keeping their conversation to themselves. I showed him in sign language. Can we go to a more quieter place? I did not realize until I could see his face. I am sorry Mani.
3) Do not talk about subtitles if you don't like them.
Discussion about movies is quiet common. So we did not miss out on that part too. While discussing, since I hate subtitles, I showed him in sign-language, "sub-titles are annoying!". I was also celebrating learning "annoying" in sign-language. But I had already done the damage. Sorry again Mani.
4) Do not speak about his speech.
As I have mentioned earlier, Mani was a very passionate pal. He used to ask me tips to improve his English. I got him some grammar books too. I once told him "Your English is good. You can read news paper and listen to news to improve!". Shooot!! Not again :(
5) You make sure you explain the joke to him.
He used to come to a lot of events - NGO oriented. He was always keen to help. You are talking to a bunch of friends who are normal and suddenly someone cracks a joke and guuushh!! everybody laughs. Mani just smiles looking at us laugh. And he just sighs, what is it? I had tears the first time I saw him do this. We must always make sure they take part in the group and not feel left out.
6) Do not under-estimate them from your words.
He always wanted to ride my two-wheeler. I used to sign him, "if horn how you listen!". That's rude. I should be penalized for being so brutal. I changed it. I later on used to sign him, "my breaks no work."
7) Do not be surprised if they give you, their phone number.
Of-course they can text! I asked him, "you mobile why?". Do not. It might not matter to us. But it does for them. Big time.
8) And last more importantly, do not feel sorry about their disability but feel sorry for yourself when you make them feel disabled.
I suggest each one of you to have such a friend. You will be utterly amused :) As I am :)
NORMAL!
That kept me ponder. Having a disability - special ability, is what I prefer calling it, can affect in many aspects of a person's life.
Waking up, taking bath, dressing up, at work place, boarding a public transport, buying things, at home, cooking, could be as simple as calling somebody. For all those, including me, who think their lives are just normal... Take a moment.
Imagine.
Think.
Its scary.
Personally if I were one, I would probably prefer sitting at home and have someone take care of me. :P
But this is not really the case. Lets find out from my experience with a special friend of mine.
Getting to know him...
Manii ( Name changed ) , a 26 year old lean, tall, malyali. I should improve on my skills to describe a person. He is deaf and dumb and I presume he can hear the loudest of noise, feebly. Going out with him was adventurous and as fresh as it is the first time. He is a great company and is passionate about so many things in life. High levels of patience he had. I used to ask him the sign for the same set of words every time I meet him. He always used to correct me with a grin and of-course a light, gentle pat on my head , showing affection.
With my experience spending time with him, a couple of things to keep in mind when you have such a friend.
1) Do not call them on their mobile.
The first time we decided to meet for lunch at McDs. I reached the place and totally forgot about his abilities. I called him over his phone to know where he was. He cut the call once. I called again. How Stupid! Don't do that.
2) Do not say the place is noicy.
We were in Barista. The table next to us, were not keeping their conversation to themselves. I showed him in sign language. Can we go to a more quieter place? I did not realize until I could see his face. I am sorry Mani.
3) Do not talk about subtitles if you don't like them.
Discussion about movies is quiet common. So we did not miss out on that part too. While discussing, since I hate subtitles, I showed him in sign-language, "sub-titles are annoying!". I was also celebrating learning "annoying" in sign-language. But I had already done the damage. Sorry again Mani.
4) Do not speak about his speech.
As I have mentioned earlier, Mani was a very passionate pal. He used to ask me tips to improve his English. I got him some grammar books too. I once told him "Your English is good. You can read news paper and listen to news to improve!". Shooot!! Not again :(
5) You make sure you explain the joke to him.
He used to come to a lot of events - NGO oriented. He was always keen to help. You are talking to a bunch of friends who are normal and suddenly someone cracks a joke and guuushh!! everybody laughs. Mani just smiles looking at us laugh. And he just sighs, what is it? I had tears the first time I saw him do this. We must always make sure they take part in the group and not feel left out.
6) Do not under-estimate them from your words.
He always wanted to ride my two-wheeler. I used to sign him, "if horn how you listen!". That's rude. I should be penalized for being so brutal. I changed it. I later on used to sign him, "my breaks no work."
7) Do not be surprised if they give you, their phone number.
Of-course they can text! I asked him, "you mobile why?". Do not. It might not matter to us. But it does for them. Big time.
8) And last more importantly, do not feel sorry about their disability but feel sorry for yourself when you make them feel disabled.
I suggest each one of you to have such a friend. You will be utterly amused :) As I am :)
1 comment:
Good points to remember.. I know sometimes dimaag ki batti nahi jalti.. happens to a lot of people...
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